Bittersweet

Sometimes when I look around, I get bitter. People always say, "Good thing we're Canadian." Yes, we are blessed. But no, we are not better. We are not above the bullshit.

 "Bittersweet, I guess."  

I am a feeler. I try my best to be a healer. And although it's cold up here, I am not very numb anymore. 

I  think about the uneven distribution of power in the world. It's always been this way - but some how now more than ever, we are being forced to accept these realities. I think about past mistakes, repeated, but not repented. I watch the news in disgust; but even the news tells the stories with missing pieces. Everybody seeks power. But too often humans aim to gain power over other humans, for the sake of evil. It comes in many forms.

Doubting the worthiness of a life. Framing and blaming the victims. Banning Citizens. Claiming Ownership. Never owning up.

I cannot erase these evils. I cannot let myself ignore these evils either. I have been taught that love is the answer. Love your enemies. It seems impossible some days. Although the fight is not over, I don't want my bitterness to keep me from speaking, healing or feeling. I can't let it stop me from spreading love. I look at my one year old nephew, I only wish for him to grow up in a world of acceptance and love. I often experience genuine moments of people in my community standing behind each other. I see artists in my city not only celebrating culture, but creating it. I notice people recognizing appropriation and focusing on collaboration. I see people standing up against hate based on how someone chooses to identify themselves. I am grateful to be exposed to such beautiful moments. It gives me the hope of a collective consciousness that will lead us to solutions. The world is far from perfect, and when my heart is heavy, I try to put hope in these experiences.